I’ve started a recurring segment on this here internet space. I was inspired by realising that Pride and Youth celebrations are held in the same month. Moreover, June involves two things that I am – young and queer. 

I also have some young and queer friends whose voices I’d like to amplify to shed more diverse light on what it’s like to being LGBTQ+ in South Africa. The LGBTQ+ community is filled with so much richness and joy but, we keep hearing and seeing the same stories about young people being abandoned by their parents for being gay or being forced into conversion therapy to ‘fix’ them. This is my attempt at diversifying that narrative.

I interviewed Kananelo Selibe, a pansexual woman living in Pretoria. She’s beautiful, intelligent and her empathy is enviable. We met via a mutual friend I knew in Uni and she’s come to occupy a special place in my heart and mind: 

How do you identify? 

Kananelo: Pansexual.

What does Pansexual mean to you and how do you express that? 

Kananelo: To me, it’s just knowing myself a bit better. I discovered this about myself after a sexual identity crisis when I fell in love with a girl and firmly believed that I was a lesbian, but I took time out to examine all my relationships and how I approach them. I realised then that I am capable of loving anyone in any capacity and did research on what that meant and that’s when this perspective solidified.

I think that I express my sexuality in just being and that it reflects in every aspect of how I interact with the world around me.

Being a young person in SA, having had that room to discover your sexuality, do you feel more confident in yourself?

Kananelo: I feel terrified. All the time. I feel like I must stamp my identity everywhere. I grew up having the core of what I am questioned, so I had to learn how to live loud and be blatant and unapologetic about who I am and how I live and love. Like, yes, I don’t have to think twice to put it out there, but I’ve been rejected and ridiculed so much for simply being that I doubt myself at every turn. 

Final thoughts

In speaking with Kani, I saw a lot of my own fears and naivety. It isn’t a crime to be queer in SA, but it is daunting for several reasons beyond our control as LGBTQ+ persons. However, I was also encouraged to keep being honest about my sexuality – not for street cred or to appear more interesting but simply because it is a part of who I am – the way a heterosexual person doesn’t second guess themselves, is the way LGBTQ+ people should not second themselves. And yet, we still do.