Simultaneously, I understand why people still try their hand at dating. Humans are social – we want to connect and open ourselves to others, wanting them to accept us despite our flaws and past bad behaviours. However, there is one problem with this.

So much of our culture puts an emphasis on romantic love – you’ve probably seen enough romantic comedies to get you through the next decade, but that isn’t my gripe. I think we’ve all been done a great disservice by always looking out for our person, even when it isn’t necessary. We go out with our friends, laugh and catch up but inevitably, your eyes will scan around the bar, hoping to make eye contact with the love of your life.

It does sound appealing to have met your forever person unexpectedly – it makes a good story for your children, new friends and colleagues. However, falling in love with someone doesn’t just have one setting.

The ancient Greeks had six defined types of love:

• Eros (sexual passion)
• Philia (deep friendship)
• Ludus (playful love)
• Agape (universal love)
• Pragma (mature, realistic love)
• Philautia (self-love)

YES! talks about each in more detail, and I highly recommend reading it and making some notes.

The reason I’m sharing this perspective is because I’ve found that too many people take all the different and abundant loves around them for granted.

I realised I’d been doing this to myself when one of my best friends told me that I was her soulmate. I was a bit confused by that since I understood soul mates as only for people deeply in love – husbands to wives, wives to husbands – the sort of people who seem to have always been together.

When I really thought about what my friend was saying, I understood she had been trying to say that just because I wasn’t in a committed romantic relationship, that didn’t mean I wasn’t loved and deeply so.

I have my friends, my siblings, my pets. I can hear you saying, “well, Abile, that’s different though.” Exactly. Overall, what I’m trying to say is do not negate the vast amounts of love that you’re surrounded by just because it isn’t a story worth telling. After all, I buy myself and my friends some flowers from time to time, much like a lover would but somehow, it means a lot more.

Not all loves are equal but every kind of love is worth it, when born from an authentic place of respect, kindness and understanding.